Scenes To Be Seen – I’m Joe Grizzly Bitch!

I’m a simple man. A simple man with simple desires. I don’t require fancy clothing or a slew of high end products to make me feel good. I like normal foods and enjoy simple pleasures like a good cold beer, a nice cigar and a nice romp with the Mrs whenever the mood is now. My mood about politics and social issues run in the realm of simple. You can be what you want just as long as I don’t have to partake in your shit. Don’t expect me to accept your ideas and don’t expect me to change my opinion. There it’s simple shit. I think I speak for many men out there with the same idea. We’re simple guys that just want to be left alone.

But one thing I ask is very important to me and that is to shit in peace. You can be a louder than usual neighbor that throws parties or listens to garbage music and I can accept that. My privacy and desire for calm can be compromised… to a certain point. But taking a shit is important to me and as a father of three… it is probably more of a treasured time than most people.

Is it too much to ask that I take a small moment of my day and use it to sit on my most favorite chair and shit in peace? For some reason the moment I sit my big butt down on that porcelain throne, an alarm is run out to my children that dad is in his most vulnerable. I’m all for playing and rough housing. But damnit let me pass this beast is peace!

There’s only one man that feels my pain! He too desires the tranquil place of fecal relieving comfort. When people come knocking on his bathroom door he knows exactly how to approach the situation. Unfortunately for him, this one time would be his last.

I know this is going to rub a few people the wrong way, but I’m not the biggest fan of Rob Zombie horror films. There’s something about every one of his movies where they just don’t work for me. For the most part, they aren’t very scary but what I notice most about them is every character in his movies, regardless of financial situation, cultural or religious background… has either one time or currently could be a carny at your most meth induced white trash incest bred traveling carnival.

It’s almost like experiencing a film that says “yea, I like watching the physical act of smelling bad.” I would assume in the cinematic world of Rob Zombie, everybody skips out on Covid tests… because they’re too busy getting their gonorrhea tests. It’s just always a movie full of people I can’t connect with nor would want to be stuck in a broken down elevator with.

It makes sense I guess because Rob Zombie was raised by carny parents. So he fills his movie with the people he’s grown up with. But even still, I think his movies suck and I think the horror community gives him too much credit. I’ve tried giving his movies more attention but I can’t find myself appreciating them. But his Halloween remake is as ok and this is the scene that makes it bearable.

I love Joe Grizzly. Sure he may partake in gross Skank magazines and I would assume being in the Rob Zombie universe that he indulges in diseased women and toxic substances. Maybe he was the truck driver that delivered carnival rides to their next gig. But he deserved to shit in peace like every man! The best thing about Joe Grizzly is his response to Myers banging on his stall door. I know it’s a serious moment but I can’t help laughing my balls off over his attitude.

If that were I in that situation, I’d probably freak out the moment I saw those dirty bare feet and slippers. It doesn’t take that long to compute an image and connect all the dots. If you find yourself in a bathroom stall and someone is in there with you, but all you can see are their bare feet caked in mud and crud; you know you fucked up and are about to die. But not Joe Grizzly, he passes it off like nothing. Which means this guy has run into shit like this before. Seeing a psycho in slippers and a paper mache mask is nothing compared to what Big Joe Grizzly has seen. Hell, Joe Grizzly sees freaks like this all the time. The carnival he works for let’s these kinds of people work the Tilta Whirl! So you think some slack jawed reject is going to shake him down? Hells no!

From what I heard, this shot was done in one take and not in the makeshift stunt room that was intended. I guess Tyler Mane and Ken Foree went to town on the bathroom stall. Rob Zombie said it looked so well done that he kept this as the main shot. For this we have a pretty intense moment where the violence feels very genuine. Probably why I felt that this was the best part of the movie.

I guarantee this is the first and only time Michael Myers was hesitant before killing a man. Most people quiver in fear before him but when Joe Grizzly says “I’m Joe Grizzly, bitch!” You know Myers felt a little drop of pee go down his leg. If only Joe didn’t say he would cut that mask off his face. I truly think he would have had the upper hand. For some reason Rob Zombie decided to make Myers in this film some sort of fanatic for his masks. So it sent him into a rage when that was threatened.

To this day Joe Grizzly is the only character from this movie that I like. I feel bad that he went out that way but if Joe Grizzly does anything, he inspires me to take a stand when it comes to potty time. So the next time my kids come banging on the door and bothering my rightful place in porcelain peace, I’ll simply yell to them… “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Joe Grizzly bitch!”

4 Comments Add yours

  1. Dante says:

    So I’ve come here in sheer utter confusion to confer with another who likes horror…

    The Cellar 2022, what exactly was it gojng for? Perhaps you could make sense of it?

    Also, “I’m Joe Grizzly…” oh the memories

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nscovell says:

      Hey Dante,

      Yea, so it was an interesting movie. Kind of funny seeing Elisha Cuthbert in there. I think the last time I saw her was in that The Girl Next Door movie.

      For the most part it has too many issues with it. I couldn’t help but keep comparing it to 1981’s The Beyond by horror great Lucio Fulci. The entire premise of a certain location being a portal to some hell and it taking a group of people to wander it’s endlessness for eternity is pretty cool. But this runs with that concept in a boring way.

      The movie has a dark atmosphere which is unnerving. But the editing seems very choppy and it’s not that exciting or terrifying. I feel like some films go cliche with a demon like Baphomet or whatever. The signs appear and there is no build up of a good cult situation.

      I get the message about psychological health and it’s ok. But personally, I just want some great demons ripping people apart like VHS2

      Like

      1. Dante says:

        And there we go…

        It was the whole switching entities for me. I was okay with the house being a portal, but when it started changing its rules now…

        I agree with it seeming choppy. A lot of what happened after the daughter disappeared wasn’t cohérent.

        If they just stuck to the leviathan thread then maybe, just maybe…

        I think I’m going to go look for The

        Liked by 1 person

      2. nscovell says:

        Yea, the movie clearly doesn’t know what it wants to be. It’s like the director thought, “I want to make a movie with a message… but I really love films like Drag Me To Hell, The Exorcist and Insidious.” But they never successfully do what those movies did when it comes to a demonic villain.

        If you want to be serious and not a more campy demon film then go ahead. But you have to up the psychological terror. The entire trying to leave and opening the front door, to only see the basement steps… that’s cool because it raises a sense of inescapability. I absolutely love inescapability.

        Liked by 1 person

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