You know what horror season is like? Its like getting your first girlfriend when you were in middle school. Up until that point you never really thought about it. But then Alex from your cub scouts pack is now dating Sarah from the soccer team! They’re holding hands and acting real odd. But something inside you wants in so you go looking. You find some girl and like a classical poet ask “will you go out with me?” For some unknown reason she says yes and you’re now boyfriend and girlfriend. But you never do anything. The only time you see each other is in school. She lives on some other side of town and your dad isn’t gonna drive you to her house on Saturday morning. It’s all a trend so you fit in. The most interaction you have with her is when you sit together in history class. You might write a stupid love letter or score a kiss and it’s all exciting. At least you have a sure bet for a slow dance partner at the next school dance. The song “Kiss from a Rose” by Seal will be so fucking awesome now!
But then one day her friend approaches you and hands you a letter. You’re feeling all squishy inside and go read it like you’re the President reading war objectives from the Pentagon. The note reads “I want to break up” and that is all. You don’t understand! What the hell did I do wrong? Is it something I said or something I did? You catch her friend walking away and ask whats the deal and she just shrugs her shoulders. You then try approaching your ‘x’ and try to get answers. But she won’t tell you anything more than that damn note. She won’t sit next to you in class anymore and she won’t acknowledge you when you pass in the hallway. You’re feeling like life just took one big giant shit on your face. But I’m not German! I don’t like being shit on! Where did this beautiful thing go? How can the pain cease? I might never love again. That my friends is how November first feels like.
Everything is gone. My wife made me go outside and take down all the Halloween decorations. If we leave them up then the HOA will send us a letter and I don’t want that. All the cobwebs and tombstones. The stupid ass Jack Skellington blow up thing that I hated when my wife brought it home from the store. Yea, I sure do hate inflatable yard decorations and this one is fucking stupid, but it makes me sad to throw it in the decoration bin. Never to see it until next year. My neighbor down the street is a damn psychotic crack head. He’s already putting up Christmas decorations! I love Christmas but don’t we have Thanksgiving? How about a blow up turkey with goofy eyes or something? All the tv channels aren’t playing horror movies anymore. What about that thirty one day love affair with Halloween AMC does? It’s all gone, Halloween is gone and we treat it like it was a middle school fling. Now I know what a Christmas tree feels like. Love it for a couple weeks and kick its ass to the curb!
But these feelings of loss will pass. To be honest, I do appreciate the end to the season. I am sick of the same movies being shown on television and there are just so many “Best Horror Movies To Watch This Spooky Season” blog posts with the same cliche films recommended over and over again by people that never watch horror. They’re the same people that say the character Link is Zelda and also think Game of Thrones is “real cool” while to them, The Wheel of Time is some book on car mechanics! Fuck them, they don’t even say why the movie rocks or how it impacts horror history. They’re just trying to be trendy like those stupid white women taking instagram photos of their duct taped tits in some cheap outfit while standing in front of a local farm they found on google and go to every fall. Real horror fanatics live this shit all the time. It doesn’t take a season of the year to peak our interests. We are rabid for the horror thirst and even if Halloween was void of all culture, we’d still be addicts.
Ugh, I am done ranting. Just do me a favor. If you’re someone that is interested in the genre of horror then go ahead and keep watching horror films. But let’s reminisce over the marathon cause it’s hard for me to say goodbye.
We started strong with a ‘heavy hitter’ known as Re-Animator! A great modern Frankenstein tale that brings us into the devilish mind of Dr. Herbert West. I always enjoy starting out with a good Bronze Age horror film. Plus its good fuel for the fire when it comes to a doing a marathon. Kind of sets a standard in excellence. The Burning was our first slasher film and really… if you haven’t seen this movie then please check it out. It needs more love folks. After that we did our first modern film in Stake Land, a more “walking dead” style vampire flick that mixes in a pretty good dystopian future. Mister would be my choice for some intergalactic ass kicking team.
Day four we moved into the silver age of horror with The Blob. A movie that took a risk and really identified youth as the protagonist for fighting monsters. It was the movie that really gave a good spot light to younger adults and introduced a new monster that deserves to be in the ranks of Dracula and Frankenstein.
We tapped in The Cabin In The Woods a film that takes all of our horror movies and turns into one giant mythos! All the tropes of young kids staying alone in some environment is all done as one giant ancient tradition to appease evil gods that without a sacrifice will rise up and kills us all! It is a movie that would change the way we see horror.
We went into our first Golden Age horror film with Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man. Probably the very first “versus” film and the first monster mashup that would spark a slew of Universal monster mashup films. It would also very well be the very beginning of the end of Universal monster movies! It was also a movie that would fill in Bela Lugosi as the monster! A few days later we went into Lugosi’s career and life in The Devil Bat! A golden age horror film that is as much about Bela Lugosi’s career and relationship with Universal than it is a movie about a crazed scientist that grows a giant demon bat to kill his enemies!
Fool’s Fire was our entry in honor of the American author and poet Edgar Allan Poe. It is also the most artistic and stylized film for the marathon. With brilliant depictions and puppetry the movie brings the gruesome story of Hop Frog to life.
We discussed the root of evil in the modern thriller Chained and even brought in our first horror musical with the 80’s Little Shop of Horrors. A movie that has such brilliant effects and camera tricks that make modern horror films look like shit. But then we honored the George Romero series with Night of The Living Dead. A movie that made a break thru in horror with its gore and brutal deception of the dead. It would be the movie to push the age of horror into the Bronze Age and give us our two other amazing movies! One being the film that gave us an alien to actually be afraid of in Ridley Scotts Alien! The xenormorph terrified audiences and encouraged creators to think beyond little green men with flying saucers.
But everything all comes down to this one movie that truly started it all in Tobe Hoopers original slasher film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A movie so disturbing and sick that it did it with very little gore or even a real “chainsaw massacre.”
Then we came to the end of our Horror Movie Marathon with Trick ‘r Treat. A movie that actually gives me hope and keeps me excited for modern horror. It outranks films like Halloween but does so in a way that gives us something new and exciting about our masked killers. It radiates Halloween tradition and serves as a reminder to keep the old ways alive and not loose site of what makes horror fun and interesting.
Man what a marathon! It was a great time and I really enjoy these movies and encourage everyone to check them out. Hopefully this Horror Movie Marathon could encourage you to go out there and search for more movies. If you’re someone that is into reading then check out some horror novels. I promise that I will be doing more posts on horror. Last year was kind of a fluke year and I didn’t do many posts but I promise I will keep bringing you subject matter in a my usual comical and neurotic style. So I hope you can still stay invested. Your interest and interactions only spark my creativity and love to write. So let me help you by you helping me! Kind of like a Jerry Maguire kind of thing. Thanks to everyone that read my posts every day and commented. It means more to me that you appreciate horror just like me. We’re kind of like family. Much like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Sawyer family! Let’s all get together and eat up some human livestock! Have a good rest of the 2020 year and see you later my fellow horror hounds!