Holy monkey balls someone in my work named James came down with Covid-19! Now we’re all doomed and I know I am going to get it! I knew this was going to happen, it was only a matter of time and now the entire company is going to get infected and we’re all gonna die! You know who’s fault this is? This is Trumps fault! That orange rich red tie toting bastard! He should have forced us all to wear masks and made us unwillingly stand six feet apart by gun point! Or maybe its not him! It’s the Chinese people working in the company. Yea, that one guy named Daryl that works down in graphics. I always see him eating his weird foods and acting different. He brought it here when he moved down from Boston. Or wait, I know that one ass hole Ryan who wears his mask on his chin all the time! He never takes this shit seriously and now he got James sick. It has to be him! I don’t care if I made Ryan my kids god father, that jerk off is cut off. That great big ass fuck!
In fact I don’t trust anyone anymore. My neighbors were acting real odd the other day when I was spying on them through the fence while I was wearing my Game of Thrones bathrobe. Usually they’re nice and wave, but this time; they just looked at me with a sense of horror on their face. They’re so insane… and probably riddled with Covid-19! Even my kids and wife are suspects. My kids going to school and playing outside. God only knows how much Covid-19 is crawling over their disgusting bodies. My wife keeps luring me for sex every night because she wants to get me sick! I just know it, I can see it in her face. She’s doing a good job at holding that cough in but I see through the false facade of sexual innuendoes! She’s just using her sexy ass body to get me infected so I can die! Sorry babe but the Nate train has left the station and he’s not being taken over regardless of how much his balls hurt! Oh god my nuts! I can’t stand the pressure! Everything is crumbling around me! What am I going to do? The other day I sucker punched a little old lady because she wasn’t wearing a mask and coughed. I’ve even resorted to using Lysol wipes as toilet paper. I feel like R.J. MacReady from The Thing but without the awesome beard!
The Thing is a 1982 film directed by movie maker legend John Carpenter and stars Jack Burton, Keith David, Donald Moffat, T. K. Carter and that Quaker Oats Oatmeal guy with the mustache! Also, the awesome alien dog in this movie was played by Jed. You may be familiar with him in 1991’s White Fang! The film is a remake of 1951’s The Thing From Another World which is also an adaptation of John W. Campbells novella Who Goes There? I haven’t read the book yet but I have heard the 1982 film is more inline with the book. The film was railed in theaters and was considered a box office bomb. But it has gained insane notoriety and a cult following like no other.
A group of American research scientists stationed in a remote location in Antarctica save a run away sled dog that turns out to be an alien creature that devours its victims and mimics their appearances and behaviors. As the alien creature evades detection, it leaves our group of scientist paranoid and ready to kill each other. No one dares trust the other in the even they become the next victim of… the thing!
I can’t, for the life of me understand why this movie didn’t do well when it was released. It was 1982 so that means it was released the same year as Steven Spielbergs E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. I would assume many people were sick of crazy killer alien films because of Ridley Scotts 1979’s Alien. Maybe another one that was just as devastating and gross wasn’t really given a warm invitation. It also doesn’t surprise me that The Thing in recent years, has gained so much popularity. I’ve checked a shit load of Top Scariest/Best Horror Films of all time lists, and 1982’s The Thing always makes an appearance. Many times it is labelled number one! Which I can agree with.
This movie is brutally awesome and filled with effects that will leave you speechless and grabbing for a barf bag. While you’re ready to barf your dinner up, just thank special effects magician Rob Bottin and Stan Winston for that. The Thing creature kind of reminds me of the Blob. Not really in consistency but in its fluid amorphous appearance. Well, that is when it’s not hiding in mimic form.
It’s kind of like a solid liquid of melted flesh. If you were to walk up to this then you would be reluctant in touching it because you don’t know if it would engulf you or grab you. The mouth of the thing is the entire creature. All it has to do is touch its skin to yours and the cellular structure of it will bind to yours and eventually take you over. But the thing is smart and can create for itself legs and or tentacles in order to move around. The Thing can be cut in pieces or blown apart and it will still survive. Which makes it more threatening then many monsters we’ve seen so far. But that isn’t even what makes it so terrifying.
How can you kill something when you don’t know what it is? The Thing takes on its victims and mimics everything about them. So you could be standing next to it. Conversing with it on a personal level. It remembers its victims memories and has emotions. You couldn’t spot that! It’s not like Invasion of the Body Snatchers where the pod people are emotionless plants. The Thing creature smiles and gets pissed off. It even bleeds red! So it tricks you into thinking it’s normal and your best friend. So while your back is turned, it will kill you and possess your body! But I wonder if it’s all too bad.
The Thing is one of those “heavy hitter” kind of films and one I have been saving for a long time. I just need the right moment to present it and 2020 is probably the best year. Everyone is absolutely losing their minds and the current culture reminds me entirely of The Thing. We’re so at each others throats and people aren’t trusting one another. Even with Covid out of the way there is this insane movement to label everyone racist, Nazi or some sort of bad person. If you’re not on another persons level then its like you’re not a real person and some sort of alien that must be destroyed!
People you thought were friends are turning on others because we’re afraid. Watch this movie and see how a group of people quickly turn on each other and how it reflects our own society. At one point MacReady doesn’t trust anyone and the entire group is surrounding him. Clark goes into to take MacReady out and is shot in the head by MacReady. The movie represents our inability to trust each other and stands as a reminder that we’re not monsters to each other. We all want to point the finger at who the monster really is and its in this that we destroy ourselves.
It’s a great movie with some of the coolest scenes in all horror. The blood testing scene has been spoofed in countless tv shows and the creature alone has yet to be outmatched in creativity and style. My most favorite scene is when the sled dog takes out the entire kennel. I even did a post on it in my Scenes To Be Seen selections.
The acting from this all male cast is spectacular and mysterious. Except for MacReady, you never know who is the creature. When it is revealed it is always horrific and chaotic. But the film keeps you on your toes and doesn’t relent in filling you with dread. The wintery atmosphere is perfect in creating a good sense of isolation and inclusion. If the monster doesn’t kill them then the bitter cold will gladly do it. So there is no place else to which makes us feel everything is inescapable. The film will shock you and leave you begging for more by the end. It’s one of my most favorite movies I have ever seen and that is why The Thing is my pick for day twenty three of my Horror Movie Marathon!