You wanna talk about pain? Sure, let us talk about pain! It’s 11:40 pm on a Friday night. The damn hurricane is coming and I should be preparing my house for the inevitable ass pounding we are gonna take from the wind and rain. But no, I can’t. All because I have the worst thing that could ever happen to a human. An eye lash is wedged up in the upper top part of my right eye! This is an ordeal like no other. The constant irritating nagging it causes while being awake is endless! I can’t watch any movie, I wish boiling acid dropped on my balls because anything would be better than this! I’m constantly rubbing the eyelid over and over again. It’s like the eyelid is getting off on it. The left one is jealous I know it. Now I look like I snorted crack because my eye is all beat red.
The Worst Timing
Why does this always happen late at night when I really want to sleep? Instead of laying next to my slamming hot wife and enjoying the lovely weekend before this stupid hurricane comes crashing in to my state. I have to get this shitty protesting eye lash out! How can anyone sleep with that rubbing sensation in the upper lid? I swear to God, every time I blink or rub it; the lash just sluggishly squirms higher up and more ingrained in there. It is like an evil dwarf with a buzz cut, hiding away in the fatty folds of a fat ass. Just snug as a bug and sleeping. Well, have a good night sleep you little turd lover cause I won’t be sleeping! I’m going insane. I keep twitching and cussing out loud. Talking to it like it was something to negotiate with! My dog is looking at me like I lost my mind and you know what! I HAVE! FUCK IT I CAN’T TAKE THIS! It has to be: the. worst. thing. to. ever. happen. to. the. eye! Yet, then again. I could be this lady.
Lucio Fulci’s 1979 Zombi 2 is… a… great… wait, is there a Zombi 1 movie? If this is actually titled Zombi 2 then this would be a sequel. But to what film?
So it turns out George Romero’s 1978 Dawn of The Dead sequel to Night of the Living Dead was originally titled just Zombie in Europe. But Fulci was intending Zombi to be a sequel to the Romero movie and automatically named it Zombi 2. But it’s not an official sequel because we all know Day of The Dead came is the sequel to Dawn of The Dead by Romero. So this Zombi 2 movie would then spawn other sequels like Zombi 3 and Zombi 4. You know what, it’s all very confusing and I don’t want to think of it.
This eye impaling scene is one of the most cringe worthy moments I have ever seen. Even to this day. when I see this part; it makes me tremble… even pee a little. I hate eye shit. One of my biggest fears is getting something stuck in my eyeball. So for this lady to be slowly dragged into the hard jagged wood splinter, completely puts me on edge. Why does it have to take so long? You know this scene was Fulci just messing with us because the zombie actually busts through the door and grabs her head real fast. But then drags her so slowly. It’s an intense scene that I picture being one of those moments in a theater where people look away and cringe in fear. And it’s brilliant how you don’t actually see anything other than a hand and arm of the zombie. The zombie isn’t the horror taking place. It’s this lady Paola’s eye getting stabbed on an oak shish kabob that sets everything on edge.
I feel for this lady, I really do. I can’t imagine what she was feeling while this was happening. But you know what, she eventually died! Me, I’m not dead. My pain is ongoing with this stupid eye lash in my eyeball tonight. This lady may have been put out of her misery and doesn’t feel anything anymore but I still have an eyelash in my eye!