I had to write this because I was recently feeling real down and Army of Darkness gave me some encouragement.
Have you ever had a terrible day? Just one of those days where it seems everything that could go wrong will go wrong. The majestic stars are not lining up right and instead, taking a huge shit on your life? Maybe you are facing something real deep and cannot for the life of you, seem to pull yourself out of the muck and mire. Or possibly your job is in the toilet, because that awesome graphic design degree didn’t seem to work the way you thought. Or maybe cleaning toilets was not what you had in mind as a career opportunity. Your boss is a giant monster, hellbent on making you his bitch. Maybe you argue with your spouse more than you should or yelled a little too loud at your kid that didn’t know writing on the walls with a pen was considered bad behavior. Maybe there is a fantasy series on tv that completely sucked and you realize that eight years of watching is all in vain.
There will always be moments in our lives in which we feel are the end of the world. Its like we are surrounded by an army of the dead reigning down all around us and there isn’t anything we can do. It is in these moments that we feel like we are alone and know one can understand the pain and turmoil we are experiencing. Well bitch, you’re dead wrong! If anything I have learned through the years it is one thing, when life sucks balls you have to face it like the legendary Ash Williams!
Army of Darkness
Sam Raimi’s 1992 Army Of Darkness is the third installment of the Evil Dead series. Although it might not be as horror centered as Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 or Ash Vs Evil Dead; it is one of my most favorite films. Where Evil Dead is full of good campy gore and horror, Army of Darkness delivers (in my opinion) a more legendary Ash Williams. This movie is full of great Ashisms like “Give Me Some Sugar Baby!”, “Well, hello Mr Fancy Pants” and “Hail To The King Baby!” The movie itself is much more of a fantasy driven kind of horror film and does a good job at bringing a more developed image to our hero Ash Williams. I associate Army of Darkness with the 1930 Errol Flynn style films like Robin Hood or Captain Blood. Lots of sword fighting and heroic moments.
This scene is one of my most favorites. For some strange reason I look at it as a speech of great inspiration. It takes this pathetic babbling brook of a pussy I am and pushes me to succeed and be a better person. Which is kind hilarious because compare this to great inspirational movie speeches like William Wallace in Braveheart or President Whitmore from Independence Day and it pails in length and magnitude. But to hell with all the heart felt feelings and feel good attitude.
Ash is the man! He takes life by the horns and with a hot babe next to him he jacks shit up. Standing up to whatever evil that comes in his way. Sure he may be a little reluctant, even self-centered at times and downright responsible for everything going wrong. Which is why we should all be able to identify with Ash. We are pathetic just like Ash and often times can’t stand the weight of the world on our shoulders. But in the end, when all the evil, doom and destruction are upon him and everyone is crying like tit sucking babies; Ash will always pull through and give a triumphant speech! He’s the leader we need and he’s got my vote!
Be Like Ash
So next time the world is too big and scary, go ahead and run. Run and cry to mama! Or stand like Ash and say “I’m through running!” And when that dark lord of the Deadites called life comes knocking on your door. Stick that double barrel shotgun in its face and lay it out because after all, good… bad.. you’re the one with the gun! (That’s a metaphor for power, don’t actually shoot life). Stand with pride just like Ash and hail to yourself because you’re the king now! Give me some sugar baby!