HMM Day 20 – Feast

While twelve patrons enjoy their drinks and endure their rather pathetic miserable lives, a ravenous monstrosity is headed their way. Armed with only a few shotguns, pistols and an aptitude for asinine decisions; our wonderful buffet of monster finger food are in for one blood-soaked night. The only question is who will be last to survive?

Feast is a 2005 monster film directed by John Gulager and stars Balthazar Getty, Henry Rollins, Navi Rawat, Judah Friedlander, Jenny Wade, Clu Gulager, Josh Zuckerman and Jason Mewes. It was part of Project Greenlight’s third season where first-time movie makers are given the opportunity to create a feature film. It was aired in select theaters and only gained six hundred fifty thousand at the box office yet making four million in DVD sales. The movie received mixed reviews by critics but has gained cult following in recent years and has spawned two sequels.

Figuring we’re on day twenty of Horror Movie Marathon 2018, coming off of 1989’s Society; what could be better than doing a modern film that’s insanely gory, repulsive and awesome? Feast may have been ripped by critics but I love this movie and think it’s a jewel for modern splatter fans. If you can’t figure why it’s called Feast then you’re a complete moron. There’s nothing better than a good old creature feature that has over-the-top deaths, stupidly hilarious dialogue and plays on the typical horror conventions. What I mean is this movie is schlock, but the kind of schlock only a person of high horror fiber can appreciate.

There’s really no point in giving a detailed synopsis of this movie because it’s pretty straightforward. There are thirteen people in a bar and they’re being killed one by one by monsters that have absolutely no reason in killing them other than for food… and maybe a little late night inner species breeding. It’s a B-monster film that exaggerates everything and that’s where the movie really shines. Unlike many monster films like The Relic, Mimic or Cloverfield; Feast is kind of a homage film that doesn’t take itself seriously at all. You don’t care about the characters emotions, intentions or opinions. You don’t care why the monsters are there, just excited that we’re going to see people brutally mutilated.



Each character is introduced with a paused title screen and given four facts: name, occupation, fun fact and life expectancy. They play into the typical horror conventions that we’re all accustomed to and it adds a bit of humor and insight that not many movies accomplish. We have typical characters like the Hero, the Heroine (heroes wife), the Tuffy (the single mom that becomes the second heroine), the Bozo (jerk fist pumper that wants to score), the Beer Guy (useless male moron), Honey Pie (the useless female moron),  the Coach (guy that thinks he knows everything), Hot Wheels (a guy in a wheel chair), and the Grandma (drunk lady that doesn’t help). Everyone else is pretty much fodder for the creatures and because of them we get to witness some awesome deaths.

There are head and leg dismemberment’s, faces getting sliced off, a guys face going very toxic and (something that impressed me) a child death that happens very quickly. It’s like the creators of the movie had a hat with all the characters names in it and just drew them out one after the other and let that drawing determine the who was to die and who would live. Of course the kid had to go. I’m pretty sure his death was set-in-stone right from the beginning. No way would a kid ever survive in any situation with blood thirsty monsters!


The monsters aren’t really anything too special. They’re hairless bipedal beasts with lots of sharp teeth and claws. They look like those angler fish on a deformed humans body. I guess it’s a little simple but I’ve always said that “scary looking” is easy to accomplish. It’s in the monsters destruction and bloodshed that really sets the monsters terror and these things really deliver.

Feast may not be the most clever of monster movies but it is a film that calls for a good time. If you’re one of those slow burning horror movie band wagoners then I guess it’s not for you. This is a film for those mindless gore hounds that remember kill counts and don’t care for deep meaning dialogue. Just sit back and take a bathe in this blood bath. It’s done completely without computer graphics and relies heavily on quick and chaotic camera work. Never really showing the monsters in full figure and each death is swiftly over after a split second yet very memorable. You don’t even have time to feel remorse for the characters because once someone is killed, it goes straight to the next victim. Some of those deaths are so extreme that you’re gonna have to rewind the movie just to clarify what you’ve seen.

The entire tone of the film is “dog eat dog” and survival of the fittest. The Coach acts like he knows everything and makes a plan that further infuriates the monsters. The declared Hero of the film dies within two minutes of being on screen. He comes in like a total bad ass and you’re think “Ok, we have our hero that will survive.” But then his head gets ripped off! It’s unexpected and kind of the gist for the entire film. One of my favorite moments is when the group makes a plan for someone to get into a truck, then back it up so everyone can get inside. They get the Honey Pie girl to do this and instead of coming back for everyone, she simply drives away and leaves the group to die because they’re all losers just like her. Everyone is all let down and pissed but it’s hilarious because that’s exactly how any one of them would react in her position. I actually was glad she got away because in most horror films, she would back the truck up and just before they think the plan works, she gets shredded! No way, she gets away and leaves everyone to die. The movie is full of these absurdities and it’s why I love it so much. That’s why I’ve chosen Feast for day twenty of Horror Movie Marathon 2018.


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