As a Soviet division move deeper past the borders of the German eastern front, they fall upon a small village hoping to find fellow comrades. Soon they discover a contemptible plan by the sick and twisted Nazi leaders to accomplish what know one ever dreamed. A plot to create the ultimate super soldier by the hands of a descendant of the legendary Victor Frankenstein! With his combination of both science and insanity, the war will face a new set of monsters; able to shift the tides of war forever.
Frankenstein’s Army is a 2013 found footage horror film directed by Richard Raaphorst and stars Karel Roden, Joshua Sasse and Robert Gwilym. The film includes a mixed blend of both CGI and practical effects and received mainly mixed reviews. But has gained notoriety for it’s amazing monster effects and intense gore.
I first discovered Frankenstein’s Army when Netflix was actually showing interesting horror movies that weren’t the same piles of garbage we have now. Seriously, what happened to Netflix? The horror selection is so stale lately. Fame has made it a beacon for schlocky “single mom with kids fighting a ghost/monster” style films. I’m so sick and tired of those movies. Anyways, this movie quickly caught my attention and to this day it remains a favorite of mine. I was caught by the actual poster of the film because judging a book by it’s cover is something I’m inclined to do! This cover has some crazy looking SS solider walking on stilts with a weird skewer like snout! This is some crazy stuff and I was hooked.
Know One Cries For Nazi’s
Alright, I just have to say it now before some SJW goes on some blistering crusade. I hate Nazi’s. They’re bad people. There… it’s said… but I have to admit, I am a fan for anything horror with zombie/monster/mutant Nazi’s. It’s the only reason I bought the Call of Duty Black Ops game. Cause it was me killing Nazi zombies all night long. Yea you dead heads, goosestep to your doom! I love 2009’s Dead Snow and I’m actually looking forward to that Overlord movie coming out in November. I saw the trailer for that during The Nun and honestly, it was the only good thing I saw on that screen that day.
Nazi’s make for good horror because it’s a clear declaration “There’s going to be some crazy shit going on!” We all despise them so we’re overjoyed with whatever bad things happen to them. I mean if this was a movie like “Aiko’s Army” and it was in Japan. We’d all be like, that’s racist dude! Cause we’re stupid. But throw in Nazi’s in there and you can do anything you want to them! The PC police won’t be knocking at your door. You all know that in Raiders of The Lost Arc, you were like “Hell’s yes! Go God Go! Kill those Nazi’s with that power!” Plus German accents are funny and it’s a sure sign of a crazy madman. I’m not wrong! We all do that impersonation whenever we’re with friends. The German accent is associated with being a crazy person. Don’t blame me, blame that small mustache turd that pushed his love for schnitzel and brown shirts nearly eighty years ago! If your German and offended, I’m sorry but it’s ok… you’ll get over it.
Normally, I don’t go bonkers over found footage but this one is real cool. It’s more half found footage because although it appears to be shot with a live camera during WW2 there’s a more clear image to it all. I doubt the quality of the film back then was as clear as this movie portrays. Also, I have a feeling a Russian squad wouldn’t be shooting with color film. The shakiness isn’t as bad as movies like Cloverfield because the guys using the camera are actual film techs.
We follow a Russian squad of soldiers that have crossed the eastern front and are making their way to small remote village. Their mission is being recorded by a Russian propagandist as they make their way across the war-torn countryside. They come upon an abandoned church where they discover a robotic like creature that kills their commander Novikov. As the squad is lead deeper into the church catacombs, they come across more terrors and uncover a treacherous plot. There a Dr. Viktor Frankenstein, a direct descendant of the Victor Frankenstein is working for the Nazi’s in order to make super soldiers and he’s gone a bit haywire.
Jim Henson Without the Rainbow Connection
Frankenstein’s Army is what you’d get if Jim Henson was resurrected by a mad scientist and given a new spine and he ditched that hippie crap. He heads to Muppet studio and kicks his son in the balls and sets fire to the entire happy sing-a-long studio. Then sets out to make a movie minus the rainbows and pig loving frogs. That’s exactly what this movie is, an insane Muppet style monster fest. An insane Muppet movie that feels like you’re in a crazy psycho house during October. The monsters are designed in this steam punk military murder bot style. Brutal in nature yet aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Imagine a Frankenstein style creature but compiled with mechanical parts from tanks, airplanes and whatever instruments the doctor finds laying around. Each one is unique and uses a certain weapon to kill. Some have propellers as faces, others have scythes where hands should be. It’s one of the most creative large group of monsters I’ve seen in a movie since Basket Case 2.
I really miss ‘bad taste’ or ‘splatter style’ horror films from the 70’s to the late 80’s. Movies that don’t make a great deal of sense but dwell strictly on the blood and guts. This movie is kind of like a modern splatter where it focuses less on the story but more on the gore and creative effects. I don’t see it as comical like Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste or Dead Alive. But you can’t help but admiring and smiling at the creatures in this film. Even in the way the monsters attack and chase the soldiers reminds me of that erratic splatter style where there are quick shots of the monsters that then shoot to the victims and then back to the monsters. Everything is moving quickly and the found footage style gives it that intense chaotic feel and tone. As a story it’s really not that aspiring, but like all splatter films; story comes second. It’s meant for people that just want disorder and madness and that’s exactly what you get.
The movie is bloody and a delight for any gore hound. You’ll love the scene where we make it to Dr. Frankenstein’s actual lab. It’s like walking through an evil Willy Wonka factory, but instead of candy; we’re seeing a slew of bizarre creations this psycho has whipped together. You’ll love every monster and wish you could get one of them as a Halloween costume. It’s a short film and not one that is hard to follow. Any 80’s kid that grew up on The Dark Crystal or Labyrinth should love this movie. The environment is rich in the deep gray and black tones and it has moments that make you beg for more. Give me more odd looking monsters that have insane weapons! That’s why I’ve picked Frankenstein’s Army for day sixteen of Horror Movie Marathon!